A Special Person

On May 17 we lost a special member of our family, Heather Owens. Heather was the wife of Jason’s first cousin, Keith. I first met Heather at our wedding shower in Belton, Texas, in August 2009. She was not feeling well that day, and combined with her soft spoken nature and the sheer masses of people, we did not get a chance to really visit. A few weeks after our wedding we found out that Heather had been diagnosed with Leukemia. She was 32. Heather and Keith have 2 children, Joshua (7) and Emily (5).
Over the next year, Heather underwent chemotherapy, a stem cell transplant and dealt with several illnesses related to her compromised immune system. Throughout the experience, she remained upbeat, sweet, and never complained. She continued to think of others before herself, sending notes and cards for every little occasion. I don’t know how many notes we received from her and the kids over this past year. When I had (extremely minor) surgery in April, Heather called me that afternoon to see how it went…when she would be hospitalized just a few days later because she couldn’t contain enough oxygen in her lungs to breathe on her own.
I am humbled and challenged to remember Heather, and her dedication to loving her family and her friends. One of her missions this year was to throw Keith, Emily and Joshua birthday parties, since she was in the hospital and too sick to celebrate last year. And she did just that. She hosted three lovely parties, and made memories with her family though it literally took all the strength she had to do it. But seeing her with her family and friends, you would never know it. She relished the experienced, and played the role of hostess so graciously.


Though we didn’t know each other a long time, Heather and I became fast friends. Maybe because we had something in common: we both married into the Owens’ family. She joked that she was so glad Jason FINALLY found someone, because now we could hang out together at family gatherings. I loved her sweet spirit, and looked forward to spending more time with her.
At Heather’s funeral, I realized that I never knew Heather when she wasn’t sick…but I doubt that our relationship would have been much different. There was a spark inside of her, and it was evident that she was not going to let her illness steal the life that she had left. Even though she was so frail, she lived her life to the fullest.
As I said, Heather was so good at writing notes. She knew about Jason and my struggle with infertility. We talked about future children, and she was so excited that we would one day have children of our own. The day after Heather passed away, Keith gave me a card thatHeather had him pick out and sign for me, while she was in the hospital, the week before. It was a Mother’s Day card. I still can’t read it, because it breaks my heart, to think that while Heather was fighting to live, she was thinking about me. And I know I’m not the only one – she sent several cards to others during her last week on this earth.
I can’t help but be inspired, and challenged because of Heather’s life. I think of the petty excuses I let stand in my way sometimes. I hope that I when I am tempted to do so, I will remember her example.
While you are reading this post, please say a prayer for Heather's family, especially Keith, Joshua and Emily, who are learning a new life without their sweet wife and mom.