My name is Cammi Mayerlen, and I don’t like making big decisions. However, somewhere along the way I’ve come to believe that I should know exactly what to do, at the right time, in every circumstance. I’ve made many big decisions in my life, some right, some not so right. Some that took about 12 tries to get right, but overall I am certain God led me, guided me, and even let me make some of those ridiculous decisions, just to get me somewhere I never expected to end up. But hardly ever do I know exactly what to do at exactly the right time. Thankfully I serve a God who does, though.
One thing that I’ve learned about God through my journey is that without fail, He is going to let me know what it is that He wants for me, when He deems it necessary for me to know. My responsibility then, is to trust Him through the process. And as the decisions get bigger, the more trust is required. For example, over the past two months I’ve been grappling with the prospect of buying a house. Mortgage, repairs, maintenance, yard work, etc, etc: all scary things for this single gal. I had to know, "okay God, if you indeed want me to buy a home, then I have to trust you with all of these things – on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. And then I have to trust you that when the day comes and I need to sell this house, that I can trust you in that, also." Lots of trusting going on. Because I know God, and know how trustworthy He is, I had no doubt that my God who created the entire WORLD in 7 days, could handle my landscaping needs.
But even though we know God is big enough to handle something for us, does that mean it’s automatically a wise decision? I’m going to argue that it’s not. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn’t. So how do we know when it’s a wise decision? I keep thinking of the passage in Proverbs 31, which says “she considers a field and buys it.” I joked with my realtor last week that it was God’s sign that I need to buy the house I’ve had my eye on. But today, I’m looking closer at the word “consider.” And I was challenged to “consider” everything involved. While the world’s wisdom says “buy!” God is telling me to wait. Because when I consider where He has me right now, HIS wisdom says that the timing just isn’t right.
Now I’m a seasoned “waiter” when it comes to God’s timing. Trust me; sometimes I think God’s timing is the exact opposite of my timing. However, through all my waiting, I have come to know that God’s “no” or “wait” is because He has a much better “YES” for the future. I have to trust that He has a reason for saying no, and that there is a better “yes” down the road.
Back in October 2006, as I looked at my life – in Dacula, GA – I thought, “God, I NEVER expected to be here today. I expected to have someone in my life to provide for me, to protect me and to be my companion.” And one by one God showed me how HE has become my provider, my protector and my companion. And while I believe with all my heart that He has someone set aside for me to be my earthly provider, protector and companion, right now I can go to sleep and trust – house or no house – that when I wake up HE is still going to be taking care of me and all of my needs.
Tonight I was listening to one of my new favorite songs, “I Love How you Love Me” by Erin O’Donnell. It’s crazy how it speaks directly to where I am at right now:
I prayed for wisdom
And you gave me time
I wait here impatiently
For your will, not mine
I’m burning for purpose
Still I’m undefined
Slowly I give in to you
Slowly you refine
Through it all you never leave my side
You just love me that way that you do
You just love me because you’re you
Well, you watch me get restless
And come to my senses
Then lift me and carry me through
I love how you love me, I do
Nothing coming quickly
Your lessons last for days
Like a map with no direction
And a sign that says “one way”
You take me to a foreign town where I don’t know the roads
Then wait for me to call on you to find the way back home
But this is where you teach me how to trust.
You just love me that way that you do
You just love me because you’re you
Well, you watch me get restless
And come to my senses
Then lift me and carry me through
I love how you love me, I do
One thing that I’ve learned about God through my journey is that without fail, He is going to let me know what it is that He wants for me, when He deems it necessary for me to know. My responsibility then, is to trust Him through the process. And as the decisions get bigger, the more trust is required. For example, over the past two months I’ve been grappling with the prospect of buying a house. Mortgage, repairs, maintenance, yard work, etc, etc: all scary things for this single gal. I had to know, "okay God, if you indeed want me to buy a home, then I have to trust you with all of these things – on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. And then I have to trust you that when the day comes and I need to sell this house, that I can trust you in that, also." Lots of trusting going on. Because I know God, and know how trustworthy He is, I had no doubt that my God who created the entire WORLD in 7 days, could handle my landscaping needs.
But even though we know God is big enough to handle something for us, does that mean it’s automatically a wise decision? I’m going to argue that it’s not. Sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn’t. So how do we know when it’s a wise decision? I keep thinking of the passage in Proverbs 31, which says “she considers a field and buys it.” I joked with my realtor last week that it was God’s sign that I need to buy the house I’ve had my eye on. But today, I’m looking closer at the word “consider.” And I was challenged to “consider” everything involved. While the world’s wisdom says “buy!” God is telling me to wait. Because when I consider where He has me right now, HIS wisdom says that the timing just isn’t right.
Now I’m a seasoned “waiter” when it comes to God’s timing. Trust me; sometimes I think God’s timing is the exact opposite of my timing. However, through all my waiting, I have come to know that God’s “no” or “wait” is because He has a much better “YES” for the future. I have to trust that He has a reason for saying no, and that there is a better “yes” down the road.
Back in October 2006, as I looked at my life – in Dacula, GA – I thought, “God, I NEVER expected to be here today. I expected to have someone in my life to provide for me, to protect me and to be my companion.” And one by one God showed me how HE has become my provider, my protector and my companion. And while I believe with all my heart that He has someone set aside for me to be my earthly provider, protector and companion, right now I can go to sleep and trust – house or no house – that when I wake up HE is still going to be taking care of me and all of my needs.
Tonight I was listening to one of my new favorite songs, “I Love How you Love Me” by Erin O’Donnell. It’s crazy how it speaks directly to where I am at right now:
I prayed for wisdom
And you gave me time
I wait here impatiently
For your will, not mine
I’m burning for purpose
Still I’m undefined
Slowly I give in to you
Slowly you refine
Through it all you never leave my side
You just love me that way that you do
You just love me because you’re you
Well, you watch me get restless
And come to my senses
Then lift me and carry me through
I love how you love me, I do
Nothing coming quickly
Your lessons last for days
Like a map with no direction
And a sign that says “one way”
You take me to a foreign town where I don’t know the roads
Then wait for me to call on you to find the way back home
But this is where you teach me how to trust.
You just love me that way that you do
You just love me because you’re you
Well, you watch me get restless
And come to my senses
Then lift me and carry me through
I love how you love me, I do
No comments:
Post a Comment